EL SANTO VS IRS FROM HELL

El día de hoy incluyo una historia especial para unos amigos. Si les gusta y lo prefieren en español, escríban y la traducimos.

El Santo vs irs from hell

“Please, let us go”

“Shut up! It's gon' be my way”

“No, El Santo will put you down…”

Our adventure begins at any given government office, at any given city. Endless lines of people, trying to fill up forms. Some to have their houses built, some to set up their own business, some other to pay taxes. What they can’t figure out is that, behind long processes, suffering, series of infinite appointments, there’s an evil plan to gain their souls.

The government offices are not what they seem. Those are straight from Hell. Their goal is to take the contributors’ money, make them waste energy and this is being absorbed by thousands of machines. Or do you believe that obsolete furniture and machines are necessary? You are being used as food by taking you pictures and fingerprints.

But then, the great people savior, El Santo, came to the rescue. People were missing after paying their taxes, people who needed a building permission appeared murdered. El Santo began to investigate, since He has always worked together with the local police. El Santo is the greatest Mexican hero. He gets into the ring and fight heels and powerful wrestlers, flying through the air, twisting backs and taking masks off. He had won many championships, masks and battles, but his main intention is to please the crowd. He fights for the good, for peace, inside and outside of the arenas.

But now there’s a bigger enemy. One that is using stealth techniques, one that lures people into the very gates of Hell. We’re not safe, we all can go down.

El Santo found that, one of his friends was being continuously called onto the IRS offices. And as the appointments were going on, this man’s health was decreasing. He seemed worn out. One night, after his match, El Santo went out to check what was going on.

At first, it just seemed as a normal building at night. But when checking at the back, he saw strange lights in the backyard. He got closer and found out that the lights were coming from the basement, and as closer as he was, he could hear some sort of screams. Those sounded like real suffering, but somehow muted. El Santo managed to enter and what he saw could put chill on anyone’s spine: people restrained, hung up upside down, being tortured, skin burned from cameras and flashes. Some sort of monsters dressed in dark red, with bulks in their heads, long arms and fingers, grunts were the only sound that came from them.

El Santo could not wait any second longer and went openly into battle. Hit one guy with the head, other two with a strong chop to the chest.  A few of flying missile kicks, couple of body slams. El Santo was actually destroying them, full of anger. But as he defeated a pack of them, more ghouls appeared.

It was soon to find out that, the bodies that didn’t survive to the torture were slowly becoming into these horrible beings. After being stripped off of their souls, the bodies became lifeless soldiers. They just kept attacking El Santo, they didn’t care, or feel, broken bones, eyes lost, wounds and smashes.

So, El Santo, while resting for a second until the next ghouls reach him, he sees something helpful. On the opposite side of the room, a huge gas tank. It is big enough to destroy the place and kill those ghouls. But then El Santo thinks: ‘If I hit that tank I will surely kill them all… and myself along’.

In a desperate way, El Santo runs for it. Hitting ghouls with arms wide open, clotheslines that tear heads apart. The way is clear to the tank, but what is El Santo thinking? He doesn’t care, to kill those hellish ghouls and avoid the other to turn into more creatures is the purpose. El Santo running for it, when he gets close, jumps and extends his legs towards the tank. He hits missile dropkicks in the tank!

It didn’t explode, why? Because El Santo is better than that. He hit a tube that was connected above the tank, now gas is running out with pressure and the tank about to fall. Just as El Santo hits the floor and lets the pain of the fall, he flees out. While he escapes, the ghouls try to reach him and the tank falls. El Santo doesn’t look back, he keeps running while the building trembles and the fire consumes everything left behind.

Now, El Santo reaches a door. Big heavy red door. Machine and hammering noises behind it. El Santo know he will enter, but he feels the fear. The fear does not lower his abilities, but makes him nervous. He’s not sure if run wild to it, wait or to sneak. He decides what El Santo always do. Face it straight. Kicks the door and it slowly open. The moment has arrived.

He sees hell. Dark room, smelly, screams of pain everywhere, bodies all over the floor. In the center, under the only light that is not dim, a monstrous figure. Six feet tall, dark skinned, very muscular, wears some kind of dark mask and clothes, old and worn fabric. With each step the whole place resounds, and the people that are still alive cry at him.

“It’s late Santo, all these souls belong to me. And millions more are coming. There’s no stopping us. Your government and few more others are controlled by us. Every person who must pay, even a single coin. You can’t stop us now.”

“You’re wrong, Devil. People like me will figure it out. There’s thousands who will understand and will fight evil. My only duty is to give hope… and now to defeat you.”

El Santo ran over this devil, but It reached El Santo before, and with a single punch sent El Santo away. Every single kick, every single punch was rejected by the Devil. And this, thing, was hitting El Santo hard. Caught him, and put El Santo under a headlock. El Santo was about to pass out, everything was blurry and darker, hope was gone.

But then, a miracle. El Santo could hear all those souls crying for help. All the people who faithfully went to pay their dues, were claiming for liberation. And that, the power of the people, is the power of El Santo. Suddenly, grab one of the monster’s arm and twisted it, driving this devil to the ground. Still surprised, the Devil was being under an arm bar, his shoulder was about to explode. Then a crack sound, El Santo broke the Devil’s arm. And now, without the power of the stolen souls, and against the faith on El Santo, the Devil became weaker. Flying kicks, headbutts, slams and every move El Santo did, was destroying this devil.

“Why? How could a simple human defeat me? How in the hell could this man be this strong. The power of hell is too much for any human.”

“You’re right. Humans can’t beat your strength, but people have hearts and faith. And doesn’t matter what sorcery you try, when people is good and believe, you will always be defeated. Now, perish under the faith.”

El Santo stood over the body of the Devil, put his feet on each side of its body, went slowly down, sat on the Devil’s back and pull its head back. La de a Caballo!

The move of faith. The move that defeated thousands of enemies, now destroying evil. El Santo began to shine and the Devil was just breaking in two.

“Santo, it’s impossible what you’ve done. Others like me will come and kill you. And they’ll take the souls of every human being.”

“I know others will come. And I know I might not defeat them all. But I have friends. And mankind has faith.”

El Santo pulled the Devil’s head for the last and stronger time. It was ripped off. And a huge explosion went on. Every soul was released. And El Santo ran away. Not to avoid confrontation, but because He had a match to fight.

El Santo, imagen y derechos corresponden a sus dueños legales. Historia original de El Suplex